Safety

Driving is actually a sport. And of course it should not be.  Hello?  When did we decide that we were gonna make our vital needs for transportation  into modes of entertainment?  Bad idea.  And I will tell you why.

 Well of course I will tell you why. I will always tell you why.  

First off, driving is F-ing hard.  I mean we like to do the whole it's like riding a bike - you never forget thing, but I am almost absolutely certain, that the Big Guy himself did not create us in His Most Image and Likeness while driving a Chevy.  I just don't see it.

So when you begin you are all, holy fballs, yeah man this is rad.  I have taken go karts and bumper cars to a whole new level. Need a ride to the petting zoo? I'm your lady.  Were you off to the salon?  Let me escort you in my mother's fuschia 1999 Volkwsageen Beetle. You don't care, it's a chance to DRIVE.  I get to pump and brake and steer and shift.... 

Then about half a minute later.   It gets old. And not only does it get old, but all the CONCERNS start happening.  Wait- what there was an ACCIDENT? Whowhatwhenwherewhy? Then you go into... isn't it amazing how we all follow the same rules at the same time and everybody's a drone until someone - MUTHA EFFIN BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP.

Oh also, I learned how to drive in New York City. How is that for a narcotic fueled pubescent video game?  I was 19 and I used my summer job earnings to take driving lessons. I called an 800 number (it was the 90s) and said sign me up!  And a little Asian man came down 20th st in a Toyota Camry to teach me how to drive.... 

That will be my NEXT blog post.


Oh also btw?  I have grown new skin that refuses to tan.