Toot toot

Okay, Blog, I didn't forget about you.  I missed you a little, but I don't want you to get the wrong idea. This is a fledgling relationship, and it's not that I am seeing other blogs, or that I want to see other blogs. It just means I don't want the pressure of a serious blog. Just so we're clear from the beginning.

For my work from home job, I tutor children and adults online.  It is strange because as my eight year old asked me last night, "What grade are they in?" and I said I don't know.  "Is it a boy or a girl?" Also a good question, and important information in countless scenarios.  I don't ask because we are not there to sing camp songs together, but rather to work on various papers and assignments. And their time is money so I skip the "Who is your favorite Backstreet Boy?" convo.

As a result, it can be difficult to help them.  Some of them will say English is my second language or I am in second grade or I am currently stapled to my own pants or whatever. Then I know to go slower, but if they don't give me info it can be frustrating.  So after a couple of months I have come up with some awesome go-to phrases:  How can I best help you? Do you have an exact assignment? which really all amount to what the f are you talking about?

Some students are great, and then there are the others that basically expect you to do the work for them.  I personally prefer the direct approach. Just tell me you want me to write your paper. If some kid signs on and basically cuts and pastes a wikipedia entry for his paper and says "I need to get the plagiarism factor down from 93% Can you help" I am all on board. As opposed to the student who says, "Read this and tell me your thoughts."  Code: I am going to text my boyfriend for the next twenty minutes while you do my work. For some reason, that annoys me.

Then we have the other students who like to "test" me.  They sign on with a "Have you read To Kill A Mockingbird?" and I say yes.  Then they say okay so on page 294 where Scout is crying, how is that foreshadowing... and I am like, I said I read it. I did not say I wallpapered my kitchen with it.

But the smiley faces.  Who knew how important they would become?  You can say the meanest thing and just use that old smiley face to give it a no harm, no foul twist.  I never thought I would cave to the smiley. And here I am, almost using it as a punctuation mark so the kids aren't offended when you give them suggestions.  It works :)  It really does :)