Basketball

I guess we're gonna go here at some point.  I used to be quite the player. Ha if you take into account I was a white female in the early nineties and went to private school.  So let's say yes I had some ups back in the day, but also I was on the brink of the technologically fueled uber sports peeps who are like crazy evolutionary sci fi robo players nowadays.  I still could whistle the Harlem Globetrotters theme.  Low key, sometimes. Not today in Sportsmania.


So obvs Ted has has been perhaps suffering from the seasons or something is happening, so of course we went to the Y today and he tried to drown Helen underwater and lifeguards came flying out of their sockets everywhere with their red foam lassoes, and they are like:  "Yes, you have to be with them at all times or this can never happen again."  Because I had been walking to the water fountain and not actually stapled to their swimsuits.

And of course now I believe basketball to be the answer.  He's got all the right stats, so he should be pretty good.  Now H and T are peas in a pod so I have to sign BOTH up and wouldn't you know only H's league is the most direct cut throat Basketball Diaries so she is all of a sudden a running point guard before I could get her high tops.  And T's coach.....has not called me back.. Ugh so frustrating.   I have called, emailed.  Rah.

So Helen had a game on Sat (her first) which was awesome to watch, and Ted is like when can I get in there?

If you view the website version at the bottom of your phone, donations are easier. Yay!

Harshin Ma Buzz

So, Blogster, yesterday I was all ready to come home and sing to you about a new dawning of a new day and all that jazz because everything was going terrif and then a whole bunch of haters came out of the woodwork and made us all sad, so I just played Press Your Luck with H and T, on our dvd player. Fun times.


So Thurs Ted actually got an awesome behavior sheet and I was psyched, as was he. I told him now you are weaned off the meds so who knows if this is affecting him or not (just the placebo effect or whatever, even).  Then unexpectedly the kids had Friday OFF FROM SCHOOL which kinda throws a wrench in the old rigamarole.  I say unexpectedly meaning this was totally on the calendar from day one in terms of the district school calendar but there was no reason for school off except a bunch of teachers saying yo we need a break inservice day, peace out and take your kids to the Y.

I did and we roll up to the Y all ready to use those facilities of glory when they are like yo our facilities for youths do not open until four pm because this is a regular weekday for us hummingbirds, sorry about your break in regular scheduled programming and all that but we have a schedule we stick to, lady.  Okay so taking them swimming I do instead of sticking them in the Active Center so mama can get her work out on (who am I kidding I was delighted not to have a reason to work out and was like oh well let's hit that vending machine and let's hit it hard).

Lo and behold we meet another mother there who has two boys one in H's class and one in Teddy's class.  For reals.  I have seen this mom before and wasn't sure what to make of her.  She seemed overly agressive/chatty when I met her before but I try not to judge cause who knows WHAT people make of me.  As it turns out her two boys are WORSE than Teddy and so I did a lovely chit chat hearing how HER son said he was going to kill himself last week and she had to go pick him up, etc.  I was like what is this some sort of epidemic? So we played some bball together and went swimming and had a nice time.  Everything's going great. Other mama departs with her kids to lunch.

Then the kids decide they would like to try out the treadmills.  Teddy has been on one before when he got pulled out of the Active Center for hitting someone and I made him run it off.  But they have rules about these things, Bloggy.  And as I have said before, rules kinda like bore me.  But anyway I checked with the front desk and said can my kiddos run like chariots on fire with the treadmills if I stand with them and promise not to move, and this dude was like absolutely.  And I know and HE knows they have to be ten but he said okay as long as you stand by them.  So of course I did and they had a great time learning these treadmills because basically the machine does everything but actually exercise for you but I think that may be coming soon.  They have virtual hills, On Demand TV and all the STATS.  My kids love the stats.

So then this "woman" (I am saying woman when I really mean beeyotch) comes up and is like, "Oh are your kids ten?" And I am like no but we got the okay from Mr. Cool.  And she is like well you have been misinformed and they need to vacate now. And she acted like we had dropped our pants and peed all over everything. So of course all of our excitement fizzled into a sad puddle of gloom.  So then I got a little annoyed and I went up to her and I was like was there a complaint or something and she was like no they just have to be ten.  And I just blinked at her.  I mean the place was empty and there was like MAYBE one stinkbug with a whistle around it's neck walking on one of the machines and about seventy-empty glistening treadmills.

Whatevs so we take our show on the road, and start the drive home and are chatting about imaginary lovely mansions we dream to live in when the freaking PO PO stops us because my registration is expired which OF COURSE it is but I have an APPOINTMENT to get it done (and actually it is done already) so I tell the nice police robot this and she is like that's great about your appointment here are THREE TICKETS, one for emissions one for inspection and one for registration to the tune of four hundred bones.  Jesus. But not even that they had us wait in the car for like an hour and Helen was sitting in the front and one police robot comes up to the car and he is all swinging his badge on a rope and like hey honey how old are you and how MUCH DO YOU WEIGH cause I just want to make sure you are following guidelines, and I am like.....

I have no idea how much Helen weighs and last time I checked that was kind of a rude question to ask a woman.  But if you want to break out your scale on the side of the road to see if you can rob me more blind, that'd be great.  But what I actually said was have a nice day. Dbags.


So anyway, Ted has been doing better but the haters out there are the worst.  Also, donate.


If you view the website version at the bottom of your phone, donations are easier. Yay!

Ted Remedies

Oh I forgot alarm clock on my last list. V important.  Mama is the human alarm clock.  Wake up, jaybirds!  You don't like to wake up?  I do a dance and sing songs.  It's award-winning.

So now that we all know what the haps are on the donations, ahem. Cough.  Becaussssse...

I just went grocery shopping for the fam and asked the elderly neighbor if she needed anything.  So when I was checking out the cashier woman disrupted my whole Jenga SYSTEM that I have for checking out and it was not good. I was like her, do not disturb the PILES. I barely made it out of there alive.  But here I am, Bloggy!

Teddy has an appointment for meds on Feb 3.  He just started karate at school so we shall see how that goes.  Yes I like a well-behaved martial arts experts at my beck and call.  No, I do not llike waking up to wooden planks being broken in two above my face.  So who knows.  It could be his thing.  Currently I have him swimming and playing hockey on Saturdays.  I am trying to get him into a basketball league around here.  I think team sports will be a very good thing for him.

Yesterday the behavior sheet was at 79 points with the goal being 80/  So there were definitely inappropriate behaviors, and I am wondering if the seasons are to blame. Then you get in to a more bipolar mood disorder  I just need to know what I am dealing with, Blogaroo. So I am going to look out for better behavior during better weather.

Mom Jobs

Charger
I charge everything.  I must make sure everything is charged.  We could go wrong here. Not charged on a card.  But charged as in ELECTRIFIED.

Cleaning Lady
Um hello three kids.

Launderer
I know how to get a stain out of another stain and have the first stain jumping rope.

Snuggler
I am available for snuggles at all times.  Obvs,  (No, Bloggy not Smuggler, jeez.)

Chef
eh?  Polly voo fronts eh?

Chauffeur
May I take you to your next destination?  Drama club?  Karate?  Swimming lessons?

Well I will leave it at six jobs for now.  Oh guess what?  E isn't feeling well and she stayed home today. She wanted some watermelon gum.  She told me she was going to keep the pack safe:

If you view the website version at the bottom of your phone, donations are easier. Yay!

This Is Ted Blogging

Ted says, "That I feel like no one wants me around them."

Ted says,"I feel like no one cares about me."

Ted says, "I feel like nothing is helping me."

And because Ted is seven he has now gone to play chess, and left mama here to blog.  I mean, I can do one of two things: lick and nuzzle him to death or solitary confinement.

Wait holy crap a pair of eye glasses just came out of my head.  I swear to god they were not there before.  So now my head makes GLASSES.  Awesome.

DONATE.

School Today

Did not go so well.  Bad behavior sheet,  I am pretty confused because T seems to want to do well.  He tells me everything is okay and he comes home with these episodes.  He screamed, "Stop staring at me!"

Man I should just take a picture of the behavior chart so you know what I am dealing with.

So I will try to post his behavior chart and hohopefully you can read what he did all day.  Not good.

The Boy Who Cried Wolf

No Bloggy, he didn't really.  I don't think T really knew what he was saying even though it did scare the bejezus out of all of us.  The kids didn't have school yesterday due to weather and they had a two hour delay today so you can imagine what kind of mess mama has to clean up in the house today!

On the way out the door, I told Ted to try to have a good day and not to say anything he didn't mean. Ted said, "I learned my lesson with that stuff."  Probably because I had him "reflect" all weekend in his room. He was allowed to read and write and rest, and I did let him out to help me with some chores and at one point to play in the snow.  But I felt I needed to keep a pretty close eye on him, and that was the best way for both of us, being snowbound.  He took it like a champ and only tried to smuggle hot chocolate out of the kitchen once.  Though he did straight up lie to stepdad about what he was doing.  Stepdad caught him and he lied to his face and I thought stepdad may stroke out.

I did speak with his therapist yesterday on the phone, and I have weaned him off his medicine.  It didn't do any good, and if anything hindered him.  So we have an appointment with his meds doc on Feb 2.  Funny though when I was speaking to his therapist yesterday she acted super upset I weaned T off his medication.  I felt like saying listen lady, I know my stuff and how to do this and the boy is seven.  It is completely my right to wean him off a medication that I feel is hurting him.  No need for me to wait till Feb 2 and "roll the dice".  But mama kept her cool.

So we shall see what today brings, Bloggy?  I have enough laundry and vacuuming to do that it looks like mama may have another inside day.  For cripes sake.  (I might have made that expression up just now but plan to use it incessantly today).

Hugs, world.

Back in the innocent days.

The Storm is Coming

And T is in his room.  I said that pretty much this weekend was going to be about reading and writing and sleeping.  As one would do.... in da clink.

(Oh em Gee, Blog, I never really thought about you and me in a storm type situation.  This will be one of our firsts!)

So I guess I am starting a real live show with a real live Edward Scissor Hands.  That's right.  I said it. Teddy is an Edward so there you go.


It is freezing out and it is apparently going to snow snow snow all the live long day while we all relive the movie The Shining.

Stay tuned and I will tell you which one of us lives!  Unless....oh dear.....

No News is Good News

Except Baby Lasagna is screeching her tail off in some rendition of Yodelling meets Sound of Music meets Adele's Fire and Rain.  Which I totally try to join her with but I don't have the right moves for this backup. It's so random and staccato.

Everything is quiet here.  No updates from school which is good news.  I am making soup and doing calm things like lighting candles and breathing.  Breathing is important, Bloggy.

I was almost going to shut you down Blogster. Around the New Year. I know. Because I didn't have the time.  But is important to touch base, and reach out.  And with the donations, I can keep you going. Refer to.

Now that mama finally got an iphone she realizes how hard it is to donate.  For Pete's sake.  Again, Steve Jobs, really?  I am just trying to live.  Ho hem.. Anyway make it recurring and make it whatever you feel your generous spirits are giving.


Love all around. E's first bday.  :)

Donations and the Big Iphone

So I was talking to my good friend, who shall remain nameless until I tag her in this blog, and then everyone will know who she is. Hint: it's a girl.  And here is the deal with donations and iphones.  97 percent of people who read this blog read it on their iphone.   Iphone does not support donation buttons. It's like this whole big thing in the world that apple doesn't "do" donate buttons. Or something.  Cause everybody should just be rich or whatever, That'd be nice.  You can't even dl an app that will make a donation button appear on iphones, They are so smart (and evil) that they have figure out how to expunge it every which way.

If you go to a regular computer, bam, the donate button is right in your face happily shining away.  So y0u can donate 1 - 5 - a million dollars recurring once and never have to do it again.. That is what I say.  And my secret friend agreed and said I should cut and paste this at the end of every blog. Which I will do.


Oh also your donations can be ANONYMOUS or I can shine direct lights on you for accolades for the rest of your life.  You can tell me in the description button.  Fun stuff.

Ted Made the Bus

So Bloggies,

Ted stayed close to me yesterday cleaning up the house a bit and was very good,  We were both very low key ad he seemed happy, though he threw a fit when I wouldn't let him use scissors to cut our Box Tops for school.  I mean, really Ted?  The suicide hotline woman was like lock up all knives and scissors and anything sharp and put them in a fireproof box and bury it eight feet deep, and I did not do this of course, but I certain;y was not going to HAND TED A PAIR OF PINKING SHEARS for chrissakes.  Jesus.  SO apparently I am the worst mom ever.  According to T.  Wowsers.

So he went to school today and obviously I set Rosa, my phone to red alert status if anything happens.   I tried to find and app that makes her explode if Ted has any negative thoughts but they haven't gotten that far in my app store yet.  He also said several times he didn't really mean it, and I was like that's fine but you had a detailed plan with specifics and nobody is just going to "let that go".  So velcro to mommy it is.  Next time, think before you speak little guy, because nobody likes to sit on Mommy's lap when she goes to the bathroom.  Well you wouldn't think but then you have kids and man they cannot GET ENOUGH of you when you are in the bathroom.  It's like you walk in there and nineteen voices scream MOMMMMM? simultaneously and you think there is a 911 and everyone just wants to tell you about their new fingernail growth and I am like, hmm seems like we could have waited on that.

So I will be close to home today making various soothing soups and trying different yoga poses to stimulate peace and love in all of my offsprings.  Or just me.  I'll take what I can get.

Update T

So we are just here behaving.. normally.  Keeping an eye on Ted. We went to Target to get trash bags,  He seems okay.  The woman on the hotline said keep sharp things away from him (yeah pretty much on that and might not sleep tonight).

I mean Jeez Louise, Ted. Are you a lover or a hater?  I know that all the psychos out there had a mother... so...whistledee.  I guess we are taking it step by step which is good,  Nobody is going anywhere,  I have a whole blog about you. So let's see.

Tomorrow he can go back to school with no paperwork and that was a relief. But I will be  on standby.


Oh also slowly get out your wallet and get to a real computer,,,,slowly slowly,  You can do it. Donate. Recur.We're not going anywhere.

Just when you think

Ted went to school and said he was going to kill himself.  He said he had a plan with scissors and knives an he was going to do it when everyone was asleep.  I had just dropped him off in the office when I got a phone call to come pick him back up.

We have called the Suicide Hotline in Bucks County,  Clearly I am keeping an eye on him, but I am also disturbed.  We are not sure if he is allowed back in school.

Sadness.

Teddy Meeting

Okay Blog, so we met.  And I am still alive.  Fancy that.  I was a little nervous at first cause I thought I saw some Haters in the lobby and then I was like what if I go in and it's like really Take me To Your Leader space alien sh*t but then I realized I wasn't on tv.  Yet. So I have to be careful,  I mean I need to survive so I can blog,  But there might come a time where they just snap me up for having created such a troubled boy.

Basically I was like Team Ted and they were like Team Ted, and then we all stared at each other.  So I think we will take him off the medication because that does not seem to be working and just by the timeline it seems to be hindering.  But why would medication actually work to the negative?  I am not impressed with you scientists, smartypants all with your white coats and eyeglasses measuring things that...don't work.

So anyway 97% of my readers are on iphones where the DONATE BUTTON DOESN'T show up.  Kill kill kill. No, Bloggy, you get in trouble for killing.  Calm down.  SO you have to hit view the website link at the bottom. So complicated.  And I have read about Apple and Steve Jobs and the donate button, and I have to say,  Shame on you, Apple. Really.Money should flow from happy peeps to happy peeps. (Grandma Patsy has to get out the urban slang dictionary sometimes to understand me.  I think her biggest road block was cray cray or most def).

Me at the dentist. Tough times.

Is she not the cutest?

Oh well.

Hey Blog I am tutoring right now to pay for my root canal, you know.  Jees us Capital One.

And it is much fun it is like a game show.  I was  all neglectful of you and trying to like fold laundry and then all sat down and remembered....oh yes, I totally got sucked in and read a short story that I wrote.

The tutoring sound came on as the sound of a cuckoo clock and all of a sudden it was lights.. camera...action!   The Fall of the House of Usher, multiple choice questions.  There are like choices in a game show, and they are asking about Fall of the House of Usher in multiple choice questions and I pretty much became the happiest human being on the planet.


Okay so the kids are about due home and I am n the crazy silent space where you know  things are about to get real.  Which I am enjoying ......and now Teddy has come home,



No library. No Books and Smores for Ted.  He scored a 73 on his behavior chart,

Donations

And mama just went for a root canal slapped up beside the tune to three hundo copayment.  Yadda yadda yadda hit the donate button and make it recurring.  Then while half of my face normalizes to the real world and I can sniff again, I can afford Helen's...braces!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Yes she needs braces. Man have I had braces.  Other than needing the teeth to behave H is the spitting image of Elsa in Frozen so I say Broadway here we come! And then I will throw flowers to all the lovers.  Um, Capital One just interrupted me to tell me some bad news.  Something about credit limits being lapsed, Okay, Captial One, I am confused I cannot make a payment yet. I have recurring payments on you,  Go away,

Probs the ultimate hater is going to donate to my blog, Uncle Ken Ken.  That's right,  Leave your pants at the door,

Now, I know some of you are hiding, Spying on me.  It's cool. Member the title of the blog?  Love you.  Whomever you are.   I have no idea who you are, but when you donate a recurring dollar I can then make my fan base,  All in good time, little kittens, all in good time.

In the mix

Hey Blog.  Project Firewood and Mount Laundry have kept me away from you.  But I told myself NO, I am going to straight up dedicate some time to the old Bloggy Blog.   You look thinner.

So many thing have happened. Yesterday I left the house without makeup on so I tried to use this lipstick  from 1997 I found in my purse as all my makeup at once. And I was like sure lipstick can be blush and eyeshadow and dinner. SO of course I showed up to Time Travel Tuesdays at the Warminster library looking all sorts of interrsante.

I have a meeting with Ted's teachers tomorrow at 815 so I am lubricating, dieting and wardrobing all in preparation for that nonsense.  It's Alaska outside so me no exercise and instead I just throw random things into our fireplace, Napkins, papers, teeth, neighbors.  Probs don't want to take a walk outside my house for awhile.

Spoke to the Ultimate Hater, Uncle Kenny this weekend.  He remains my archnemesis and godfather so now we are apparently Italian.  Who knew.  Grandma Patsy made an appearance, taking the kids to Chuck E Cheese (otherwise known as a poor man's acid trip) with her driver, Poppop Den.  We all enjoyed a night out at Pizzeria Uno's.

Then on to Siobhan's where the kiddos made lasting friendships, had a sleepover, and I tortured poor Teddy with no screen time rules for his unfortunate behavior this week. I am sure the screen time was sneaked in.  But really Sio and I wanted to kick back and have some fun, so all was good and happy times.
'

Although Ted threw a chair and a fit in his Star Wars pjs.

Good choices

Okay so Ted and I had a long long talk last night about making choices.

Basically it went like this:

Every moment you get to choose what you do with your behavior.  So if you make a bad choice in the morning, that does not mean you have to make a bad choice in the afternoon.   And you need to control yourself.   For instance, I want to punch punch punch the wall right now because you consistently come home with these bad behavior charts. But  mama has to control herself and not punch the wall.  We call this "Anger Management".

So he went to school with two post-its that have the word "choose" on them.  One is on his folder and one is in his pocket.  We'll see.

So our words for the day are control and choose.

Also Mama cannot control who donates to this blog.  But soon you will be seeing your name in fiery red lights, bitches.

Chore Chart Update

Okay so for those of us that have been sticking with the old Quirk/Fesko regime, we have had chore charts and they are lovely, shiny and complicated.  As pretty much everything in life is.  Except for Rosa, my new phone.  Actually, no, she is all of those things.  She played hide and seek on me this morning.


My chore chart at home closely resembles Ted's chore chart at school in terms of complexity.  It's really good for him and he has the ability to earn a nickel for every point he gets. He loves the chore chart. This week he earned six dollars out of a possible 11.00. And of course there are bonuses and incentives (as with any job).  This week Ted is Manager and Helen is assistant Manager.  Manager is in charge of the chore charts and helping mommy find everything.  Assistant Manager is in charge of Eleanor and the chalkboard schedule.  An extra ten cents a day is awarded for completion of these jobs.  5 cents in the morning and 5 cents in the evening.

Now if a certain person does not do their job appropriately, or show up or what have you, then the other has the possibility of taking over that person's job and earning their money.  This has happened a couple of times.

Last night, Helen told me she does not like the chore chart.  It stresses her out and it makes her feel like she is failing at things.  So I said no problem, let's think of another way to motivate you.  We will discuss that tonight. She likes being Assistant Manager.  Ted likes being Manager, so we have that going for us.

Oh also, donate, and love you.

Breathe

Of COURSE my new phone had to ring with the special ed's teacher number


"We would like to discuss why Teddy has been throwing chairs at students."

Okay.

Breathe.

We have an appointment on January 21st to meet with the special education teacher.

Watch out

Mama has a new iphone.  Through no fault of my own, I dropped my phone down the stairs from the attic as I was using it as a flashlight whilst trying to referee fight number 432 of the H and Ts and of course it sprang into several different pieces but lo and behold it was the DAY I was due for an upgrade.

La dee da I love it when Karma lines up so I sing songed my little butt cheeks into the ATT store where Bill kept barking at me. Seriously this guy talked a mile a minute and I barely understood half of what he was saying and finally I was like do you have pink?  I would like a pink phone.  I have had enough of black.  It blends in with my kitchen counter and let's get real about all your gigs and shmigs and whatevs, I am down in the trunches,  I like a fancy cam as much as the next guy, but I need  a phone today and it has to be shiny.

I shall call her Rosa.  My new phone.  I like to pet her sometimes,

Okay, anyway, I am poor and you are rich so lets donate.  Now, I know your little eyeballs are reading this so shame on you for not donating.  All you need to do is click on the old buttony button and hit ONE dollar (one measly dollar, for reals now you just look bad) and also recurring (very important).  Wallet, I know you can do it!  Also, I see you reading my blog for free,

Then we can tra la la all the live long day with our shiny phones.

To take pictures if Helen and Ted and E, duh,

Hugs, Blog.

Daddy's Girl

We have one.  And holy smokeareoos does she know it.

 E just spent the last thirty-two minutes screaming DADDY as if she were lit on fire.

It's actually quite amazing. H, T and I have never really seen anything like it.  We are making dinner and man oh man the lungs.  I'm like hey pass the chickDADDDDDDDDDDDDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY


So obviously I will have E's voice singing this word over and over in my head for the rest of the live long day. I am actually supremely impressed she didn't stroke out already.

Anyway, I got home in time to spend hw time with the big Tbone.   H was at drama club (because we need more drama please let us form a club to savor) so it was just me and him, and I was like Oh! this is so great that we get to spend special mommy and Teddy alone time together!!


And he was like,

Substitute

Well T had a substitute today.  Substitutes are interesting for a billion reasons.  But anyway T "forgot" about his punishment recess inside.  Isn't that interesting? I guess the AP also forgot about the T Bone being inside today so Teddy got his recess so I say good job.  Run it out. Well done.

Man, I wonder about T in this school. Is he just making a name for himself?  I feel like when I go in there to pick up and say T Fesko all we hear are crickets because...  first of all the name is seriously unfortunate....yeah we know you.  With a name like Fesko...Tumbleweed, as my old friend Erica used to say.  Yep Teddy Fesko.  I'm here,  Yes we know you.  Ha Fesko.

Ha okay awkward silence as I wait in the lobby/foyer whathaveyou

So Ted is the kid in class who just can't do what everyone else is doing.  He just cannot.  Not sure why. He has to be different.  I had no idea I was baking such a bad-ass back in the day.

T and the Assistant P

So after the week we had which culminated in the phone call from the Assistant Principal (after the phone call from the teacher and the special ed teacher), Ted was supposed to stay in for recess today and tomorrow.

Now, normally, I am not on board with punishment that takes away from physical activity.  But in this case something has to be done.  So no 3ds on the bus (obvs) which he was NOT happy about this morning.  Though he immediately offered it to Helen since he can't use it which I though was very sweet.  She snatched that up like it was the last EpiPen in a beehive.

He said he would try hard to behave today and due to a little morning madness, his medication ended up as a pill in his hand and me hollering after him: try to swallow it on the bus.  Eh, not the best parenting move but it's not crack for goodness sake.  If it were crack I would expect him to make a little money.  Mama needs a new pair of earrings.

So stay tuned for what this week brings, Bloggy.   Fingers crossed!

Titanic (obvs)

Okay before I start there is supposed to  be a no shaving policy in the shower at the Y and I am like...(wait for it)..WHY? and lo and behold... hi  diddle dee..I go in there all wide eyed and fancy free with my Gillette and  end up cutting my leg to the tune of Pulp Fiction madness.

I clearly spend a lot of my time trying to figure out what I would do in catastrophic situations, and Titanic is your alltime filibuster. But this morning for some reason Titanic was really bothering me.

Now OBVIOUSLY, Bloggy,  we should know by now that brains do not equal money.  I have very many brains and a teeny eensy bit of money (by the way DONATE).  I believe my friend, old W. Shakespeare was the same.  Uh doi, if I may.

So back to the Unsinkable. We have your Vanderbilts, your Macys. your Crofts (lots o money but maybe no brains here), and there's the Titanic plotzing away. Whatevs. After several millions of years of my own research (5 step scientific method or just me reading a book)....the fancies are dining in the big ol T with their lovely silverware and their lovely plates, and of course times were different then.  But how different really? I mean we are talking a hundred years back.  So okay, wardrobe change. Got it for sure. But what gets me is well.. a few of things.

1.  Going down with the ship.  Got it.  Loyalty.  Sounds good, but definitely make yourself useful beforehand. Like, do NOT dress up in your best threads and take a seat sipping brandy while others around you are clawing their way out of steerage. Not cool.

2. Do not be ashamed that you survived. Hello, Save a life. Then take a seat, Move on. Maybe you lived because  you were supposed to invent the cure for pneumonia or cancer or whatever our peeps were dealing with back in the day. God gave you a life. Save it, yo. For reals? Get the shotgun out of your mouth and grow a sac.

3. Defs get a little tipsy.  The ship is going down. Are you kidding me?

4. Yes I get the whole, the band played on, Cause I guess they were like, might as well.  But there might be some empty seats RIGHT BEHIND YOU, GUYS.  Drop the harpsichord, and let's live. I appreciate a dedication to the arts as much as the next person, but I am sure you have a mother or a sister or an Uncle Ron who would be happier if you survived.

Ted's meds

So I had promised an update on those guys.  He started taking Triliptal (yeah that is what we call fo net ick spelling, Bloggy, cause Mama ain't got the time) about four months ago. It is supposed to be a mood stabilizer. Mama should probably crush it and snort it all the live long day.

Of course I was against meds when I folded myself into a pretzel and thought I would grow everything out of my backyard for everyone to eat, but once Ted was old enough to work a chainsaw I thought, hey let's reconsider.

So I took him to the neurosurgeon who gave me his opinion of T, which is maybe Autism but not in any way that would actually affect him except being a PITB in the classroom (you'll figure it out Bloggy), but maybe these meds would help.

I have to say we haven't noticed too much of a difference. At first school was saying maybe they were having a negative effect.  Then he started doing better.  And of course sometimes he says the medication is making him "act goofy".

Now, every once in a while I get taken for a fool.  It doesn't happen often.  But I usually can tell when little piggleton is lying.  So for instance, when I asked why he yelped all day in class he told me he had this song stuck in his head and he couldn't get it out.  I feel like he can't make that up.  But when he says sometimes the medicine makes me act goofy, I start to smell a rat.

I took away all screen time for a bit, which he was not happy about.  But let's be honest, it doesn't help.  For hell yeah it makes my job easier, but in no way shape or form is it good for him.  Snuggle time it is!

Upsetting Issues

So of course after I wrote today's Blogaroo, I got a phone call from the schoooool. re Ted, and after that his therapist had to give me a call because transitions after the break are rough,

Ted has been yelping in class and several times has just flat out refused to do what the other kids were doing.  So I asked him what was up with that and he told me it was because they weren't doing it the right way.  Which okay I get but I said you need to be a part of a participatory team, like our family.  Imagine if mommy was like hold up Ted you aren't putting dishes away correctly, so I will no longer drive you to swim lessons.  That's not cool.

Ted will also say he is stupid and he wants to kill himself.  So then I bring his therapist in and say well this is something we need to address because a seven year old should not be saying they want to off themselves. And he will say well everybody hates me.  Now this is concerning because the other sibs hear it and pick up on it and it affects them.  No good.

So normally I address it with him and say,  do you know what you are talking about? and lets play it through.  If you were to do something so drastic, do you understand the horrible repercussions?  He is seven, so not really.  And I tell him I don't feel that at this time we realy need to go to such an ugly place.

But I'll go there with you if that's where you want to take me,  I am your mom so I am in for the ride. Be careful where you say you want to go.

The Unevaluated Child

Hey Bloggy, I have been wondering what to DO with you lately, and I have come up with a few ideas.  But I have an interesting post for you today about my third child, the infamous Eleanor and how she fits into the whole Autistic/Special needs la dee da.

So for those who have stuck with us we had Helen (age 9 now), the no talker until age three when she was evaluated with speech delay and then eventually PDD NOS and had the cadillac of birth to three services, Extended Day Kindergarten with full Autistic support that at that point her teacher was vehemently denying she needed.  I fought for her services until it was clear as day she didn't need them any more just because the no speaking, space angel thing was a bit scary in the beginning.  Now she is the highest achiever in fourth grade with no services.

Then there is Ted (almost 8) who got evaluated as pretty much a piggyback deal.  His speech and academics were always off the charts but the behavior was rigid and rage.  He was immediately diagnosed PDD NOS because of those symptoms and his sister but never had real supports until last year when he came home with a full Autistic diagnosis and a bunch of teachers who wanted to pull their hair out because of his inability to sit still or stay quiet.  His academics are still off the charts which is saying something since I think he pays attention about 4% of the time his brain is not inundated with Super Smash Bros.

And now we have the illustrious Eleanor (3 and a half).  And of course E is different.  She doesn't have a sib abutting her left or right by a year and a bit.  So she gets more attention that way.  She also is not a victim of the big D (divorce) so she has the two parents all the time who adore her.  And I was fortunate enough to stay at home with her for most of her tiny little life.  But she has missed some milestones, I have to say,  So now she is in daycare where they teach you all the live long day.  I was teaching her at home but she had some issues with mommy as the teacher.  She also has some issues with behavior ala Ted.  Her speech is perfect, and of course I am keeping my eye on it.  But there is no real reason to evaluate her right now, and I'd like to let one child be free from all the pencil pushers.  Kindergarten may be a different story.

But it is interesting to see if the services are helping or hindering and what to agree with and to stand up for.

Next up, and update on Ted's medication.....

Tweety

Hey Blog.  I love you.  Also, I created you which is kind of nifty, I have to tell you something that is very hard.  Now don't go getting hysterical Bloggy.  But sometimes, things die.

And it is not cool.

Mostly. And I mean I don't want to talk about death too much because that's a showstopper, but it happens so what do we do?  Baby Lasagna will die.  And it will be very sad for many people. Oh dear, I don't mean to depress you Bloggy but let me tell you about Tweety.

Tweety was a bird that my best friend Brad had.  Now, in NYC, pets are limited choices so Tweety is obviously a parakeet.  Tweety greeted us at the door sometimes  and there are windows and well, Blog, some bad things happened to Tweety.  So we have Tweety I and Tweety II amd Tweety III.

Now Tweety II is where it's at. I guess Tweety I was a warm-up. Brad and Tweety II could go on the road for sure.  Brad would call to Tweety and Tweety would fly onto his shoulder,  The Pied Piper runs through Stuyvesant Town,  But then, Tweety died.

And Tweety didn't die of old age.  Tweety died in a terrible accident.   I watched Tweety cash in his chips with Brad.  Brad had accidentally stepped on Tweety when they were doing one of their fandango shows.

So Tweety's neck broke a little but not a lot.  And Brad and I cried at the dead bird on the table.  We had no idea how to handle this.  But I was nine and dinner was probably going to happen soon.  So like the next day it was

Tweety III.

The Love Stories

So today we went to Holly's bday party.  Holly and Teddy are somewhat in love.  Holly is Teddy's girlfriend, although there was a sad day when T was not sure about Holly.  I said, Bud, Is she still your girlfriend?  And he was like I don't think so because she said she hates me,  But that was a glitch and we all have them, so let's move forward shall we? The next day all was well and it turned out there was a hater trying to ruin the romance.  Isn't there always.? Oh dear, our kids are almost at "the puberty", as Helen puts it.

Holly isn't in Teddy's class this year, but she did write him love letters this summer.  T would be a great boyfriend because Mama made him so.  He is attentive and nice. He is very helpful.  T is my main man when I am in a sitch that includes a car. a gps. and a flashlight.

Of course there is Helen. And of course she is in love.  With Conner. But he does not know.  How should we tell him?   Was the discussion in the kitchen tonight, while I tried out eggplant parmigiana. Helen has never found someone so humorous and warm-hearted (her words).  So I hope it works out.  Obvs. Stay tuned.

Can You Read This?

Well that's our family schedule on the board but then under 730......

Dear Whoever reading This call Ted doofus Banana  (and then up to the side) Brains

Grandma Patsy

Oh Grandma Patsy.  We do love you.  Let me tell you all the awesome things about Grandma Patsy.I can't do it justice in just one blog, but...Well, first I should start with when I was little I used to rub her legs and sometimes she would have stubble on them and I was in love with the stubble because it was my mom.  I am pretty sure I used to brush the stubble.

Grandma Patsy used to give me "manicures".  Which means she would try to make my body stay still for one second while she painted my nails with the Revlon nail polish color.  I am pretty sure that is how I learned the word mauve.

Also she would ALWAYS let me invite a friend over for dinner.  Who doesn't love that?  Now of course this friend could be the homeless man from 23rd St and 1st Ave, but Grandma P. would be like, it's cool.  Do you eat pork?

But usually it was Brad, and usually we were having chicken cutlets.  Brad would seriously jump on his skateboard and be there in three nanoseconds for my mom's chicken cutlets. He used to ask me what we were having.  Then he would ask his mom what she was making, and weigh his decision. I am pretty sure GPs cutlets won every single time.

GP always took us to the Bronx Zoo (I think it is now called the Nature Conservatory Parkoramoville Educational Center for Learning Peoples) on Saturdays or Central Park.

And she would let me and my friends climb the rocks in Central Park - which for NYC kids is pretty much akin to us hiking the Oregon Trail.  And we would fly off and climb these huge rocks (perhaps not the best parenting decision?) and slide down and have hot dogs and go to the zoo.  And there would Grandma Patsy be...eating her popcorn. Obvs.