Everyone Has a Mom

I mean, you can't get around it.  So everyone has a mom, and every mom has a mom and man, we could be doing this all day long like the juicy fruit gum wrapper necklaces, but whatevs. The point being that of course your mother always told you you would end up just like her, no?  I mean it stands to reason, the apple not falling far from the tree and everything.

So time goes on and I get older and find myself doing certain things I used to MAKE FUN of my mom for doing.  Obvs, now they make perfect sense! Yes, a thousand times, yes, I will smell these underpants to see if they are clean or dirty!  And I will not even blink an eye while doing so.  It is not funny, as a mom you gotta get shit DONE. I have no time to look at these underpants and calculate if they look clean or dirty so as I keep walking I will  take these little underpants and smell them out and if they pass the test you wear them no questions asked,  It doesn't matter if you are a boy or girl. Your parts are covered.

So this evening I was in the kitchen.  Oh, didn't you know, moms spend quite  a bit of time in this room.  And I got some TUDE from the oldest, saying why do we always have to do these CHORES *flouncety flounce flounce* blonde hair thwaping.

And of course I am tired and I have not showered and I have to refill this little guy's prescription while taking this little girl to get her library books and I stop and turn around... And I am doing the whole MOM thing.

I've got the sponge in hand, maybe rollers in my hair, in my sweats with the cast of the orphans Annie behind me, and I am like..puhlease child.

{soap box comes out, and mom jumps on top speaking into broom microphone}

If it were up to ME?  I would sit on the porch and EAT APPLES ALL THROUGHOUT THE DAY BUT NOOO.... YOU have to EAT stuff and MAKE A MESS, so as your MOTHER I HAVE TO CLEAN THAT MESS. DO  you think that makes me happy??? Once again. I do not dirty the dishes or spill on the floor, it is YOUR mess I am cleaning up. Every day.  All day.  So if you want to have attitude, do it somewhere else.  I am not in the MOOOD.

{this is where the chorus  feet starts tapping}  All elbows in synchronicity.  no- no- no- not in the mood- mood- mood. 

And I was Grandma Patsy.