Pretty Blonde Liars

Man it is so rough when you first find out your kid has lied to you and you fell for it.  I consider myself to be pretty savvy so I am always the most shocked to find out they have pulled one over on me.  Especially because God crafted them as these wide-blue-eyed blonde angels that look like the only thing they ever did wrong was pick up the wrong harp on someone else's cloud.

Helen, man.  I will NEVER FORGET the biggest and most ridiculous first whopper I can remember.  Her school has specials (music, art, drama) on a six day schedule that they label A Day B day C day etc so that if there is a holiday they simply jump over it and a special isn't missed.  Instead of saying "Gym is on Thursdays" which is good but can get confusing.  So some Tuesday after a Monday off, we weren't sure if the kids were on B day or C day and let's say C day would have been Helen's violin day.  So because we weren't sure, I told her, just bring the violin to school anyway, and if you don't have violin, you can keep it there until tomorrow.  Oh Mama, you are so wise and all-knowing.

Well, Helen looks at me with her huge rolling eyes like I am the biggest loser since William Hung on American Idol. She doesn't want to CARRY it to the bus stop if she doesn't have to, plus she will look silly if everyone else ISN'T carrying it cause it's not the right DAY.  T minus three seconds until she leaves to walk to the bus stop with all the other kids  (who may or may not be carrying various instruments) so I have no time for this nonsense.  I hand her the violin and off she goes in a blond twirly huff of Disney red poof!

Later that same day, after school, the fam is all sitting around and dad mentions driving up to the door and seeing Helen walking on her way home from the school bus.  When his truck pulled into the lane, Helen had been acting all "jumpy" and "squirrely" and sort of began running and then walking and then twiddling her thumbs and whistling a tune to "ain't nunthin' to see here, please be on your way".  So dad is like, "Hey how come you were acting so weird when I drove up beside you into the lane today?"  and Helen is all, breathy and lovely and super nonchalant and "Oh, no reason. I was just excited to see you, that's all."

See, the bold is there for the lie, Blog.  The lie.

My mother bs detector went on high alert when I heard this and I instantly stopped chopping carrots or whatever to shine a bright light in her face and begin my interrogations.

As it turns out, our darling Helen, had seen no one else carrying an instrument to school on their way to the bus stop.  Her solution?  Throw expensive violin in bushes for entire sun soaked day and retrieve on way back home.

Anything to look cool.