Don't Hate the Playa, Hate the Game

Ha.  So yeah now everyone says literally when they don't mean literally. So now it literally makes no sense.

Another pet peeve while I am at it:  garbage cans not placed strategically.  For ef's sake.  When I want to throw something out, a garbage can should simply appear so I do NOT HAVE TO LITTER. Hello.

Anyway, I was shopping this morning and I came across another hater.  Well first of all, let me preface this by saying this hater was NOT my Uncle Kenny (my first hate male [sic], yay!) who by the way told me to get a hobby.  I'm confused, I thought you were my hobby, Bloggy?

 As yoosh.  Most haters can be found as cashiers.  We all know this.  They are cashiers so they are not, like, living the dream.  Well, neither am I.

But whatevs we all have our issues, and I always try to be pleasant as my mama taught me.  So when I encounter the UNpleasant, I like to do what I call the "extra second".

(Oh my god E just came into the room and LITERALLY smoked me out. I may not make it.)

The extra second is when I roll up to the cashier and I am like hey how goes it and whaddya know whatddya got how are you love your earrings etc and the cashier snaps my head off  in some poorly uncontrolled displacement of emotions like what happened this morning.

So then I stop and wait just an extra pulse or two.  While I maintain eye contact.  In this extra second, the poor cashier realizes that his or her job was actually to be nice to me and they have royally effed that up, and also they are sizing me up as to whether this happy go lucky mother of 3 may just be psycho enough to pull out a taser and start really going to town.

It is super awkward and wonderful all at the same time. And when the moment passes, I always take a breath and the person on the other side (who now realizes they are lucky their head is still attached to their neck) becomes all smiles and how can I help you. LITERALLY tripping all over themselves because they are just so happy I didn't turn over the candy aisle and pee all over everything.

Oh also I wanted to say that I have lots of haters and this means people I try to friend on fb who REJECT me.  It's pretty awesome.  It's like I send them a friend request cause I knew them when we were embryos, and I'd like to see pictures of their various offspring but for some reason they cannot be my social media friend.  Oh get over yourselves.  Of course if you are reading this, double shame on you. Has Jean Valjean taught you nothing? But also I love you and let's be friends.