Ted: What if there is a better mom out there than you? Like......MARY?????????
Touche, Ted. Touche. I will never beat Jesus' mom. Now, let's talk about SONS.....
Mom: Tell him you are sorry that his mother died because it's really sad when someone's mom dies.
Ted: Yeah so try to stay alive until you just die. (Ted leaves room)
Mom: Wait, did he just tell me to stay alive until I die?
Helen: Yeah sometimes when people get really old they just like faint and die.
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